Being Brave

Last week I went to a wreath making class. I was the only one who was there by myself. Everyone else went with a friend, a family member, and there was even a couple there. The only other person who was there alone was the woman who was running the class.

I mentioned as introducing myself that I was there alone, and a couple of the girls said I was brave. I thought it was kind of funny. I didn’t think I was being brave just going to a wreath class. Maybe going to Europe on my own for a tour was brave, but a wreath class?

I guess there are a lot of people out there who are afraid to do things on their own. The one girl said she would be afraid to walk into a group of strangers, she’d have to get there early and try to be the first one so it wasn’t awkward.

For me it’s kind of necessary. If I want to try something, I just have to do it. That’s why I joined the local Sports and Social club, because there are a few other people out there who just want to get out and do things. Maybe their partner works away from home and they want to get out and meet some people, or they’re single like me, or they’re couples trying new things. I’m glad they have something for us around here!

I also sign up for classes though. My friends are busy raising their kids and are only available for some things, so, I just go do what I’m interested in. No regrets!

This time being brave got us a beautiful door wreath!!

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Off Schedule: Bronn’s Wednesday

Mama-Human came home late today because she got groceries. I was very excited to see her, and to poke my nose in all the bags, but I just really had to pee. Thank goodness for the garbage bin, I didn’t have to search too hard to find a good spot to mark. It’s our garbage bin. In the morning, I’ll help Mama-Human bring it to the curb for that loud truck to get. Maybe I’ll bark at it.

It turned out, after poking through the bags, there was a new squeak toy for me under some new towels I’ll lay on later. The first order of business was to get the “duck” like squeak out of it. I can’t believe they think it sounds like a real duck! Also, why does a hedgehog also sound “duck” like? When Mama-Human is at work, I might have to go on the internet to find out what hedgehogs really sound like. I’m very suspicious.

I carefully made an incision with my teeth down one side of the hedgehog and removed some stuffing on the couch, then took out the squeaking contraption. All of a sudden I smelled something delicious from the kitchen so I dropped my new toy in the hallway and went to check it out. Mama-Human had something in a brown paper bag that she was going to eat, and the Human-Who-Lives-Upstairs (Mama-Human calls her Ni-kohl) was making some kind of squash and she took it out to check. I like squash. One time I tasted the different kinds in Grandpa-Human’s garden, his eyebrows pointed down at me so I don’t think he liked that. The next thing I knew there was a fence around the squashes.

Mama-Human let me have a French fry. I didn’t get a whole lot of droppings, and I was hungry so I ate my dinner. Then downstairs cat-loving Human (Kae-tee) came upstairs with her man-Human. He gave me some pets. I put my bum against his leg to let him know I was enjoying it. Who doesn’t love a head and ear massage?

I then supervised Mama-Human as she packed a bag of food that she will take with her tomorrow when she leaves the house for “work”. There were no droppings but I checked to make sure I didn’t miss anything around the floor area.

Now I’m just chewing on my new toy, getting my teeth clean and relaxing. When Mama-Human is done her hot drink she’ll take me for a walk. We didn’t go for one when she got home because there was a lot going on. I’m excited to sniff around and find out what all the other dogs in the neighbourhood did today!

The Pap

It’s a dreaded appointment for most women, the Pap smear. Thankfully it doesn’t come every year for most women, but at the same time that kind of makes it more nerve wracking because it’s been so long. Like getting a needle for some people, it’s just ugh!!

I had a regular doctor for the longest time, and so these appointments weren’t as dreaded because I know how quick it goes by and she was a very calming lady. I moved at the wrong time. It’s a three year appointment for me now, and it just came up on three years. I had to go to a new doctor, a woman thankfully.

It’s so awkward, getting under a paper blanket. Especially since they are folded so neatly and it’s hard to get it open without worrying about tearing it and ending up with a mud flap sized piece to cover up with! Not to mention the fear of paper cuts! Just kidding, it’s not that kind of paper.

So there you are sitting in a room behind a curtain under a paper blanket and someone you never met comes in. Thankfully, today the doctor was super nice. She addressed some other issues I had first, like my sore throat and ears. She looked in those and discovered that I am probably not used to the dry climate and prescribed more hot drinks (like tea) and a humidifier for my bedroom. I wonder if my insurance will pay for that. Hmmmm…

Then it was back to business, ugh!! I am glad they changed the speculum to a plastic disposable thing. No more cold metal. If you google the speculum, you will find some very scary looking devices that they used to use until it was designed better. Probably not a good idea.

Then, all of a sudden you’re there and uncomfortable down there (I always feel like I have to pee, I don’t know if that’s normal, nerves, or what) and some lady is talking about where it’s good to buy a house in the city and what park you should take your dog to…and it’s taking forever!!

I really miss my old doctor! She made small talk too but she did it all super quickly! Although I have to say, the first time I ever went the doctor left the speculum and went to do something and came back, so it’s never been awkward like that!

Anyways, felt like I should write about something really awkward, because I’m trying to write more! Hope everyone will still keep reading and not be cringing too much. Next up…mammogram… just kidding!!

Lazy Boy Chair

I’m writing this while sitting in a comfortable Lazy Boy chair at work. I’m on my break, of course. We don’t just sit around on our cell phones in lounge chairs all day here. We’ve got things to do.

It’s beautiful outside and they are finally starting work on the new playground for the daycare centre here at the college. They planned to start over a month ago, but it just kept snowing. All I can hear is the humming of some machine outside, some distant chatter in the hallway and the crunching of another staff member at the table behind me.

It’s Monday, and I feel blue. I had a great weekend, watched some good movies, got some exercise with my dog and even went for a massage. It was busy, but also restful. I don’t know why I feel so blue today. All my clothes are blue, maybe that’s why. Next Monday I will wear something more colourful, maybe that will help.

I would have gone to sit outside, but it wanted to lounge about. I’m tired! It’s warm out, but I’m not sure it’s warm enough for me to feel comfortable. The breezes make me cold, and this is a breezy place!

I don’t know what to write about. I’m stuck. I know I need to write more, or I’ll never write a novel!! Maybe I don’t really want it that bad. I just feel stuck, and sad.

Hmmmm…

Sign of the Times

When I was little I was always afraid of “the end of the world” and my Mom always assured me that it would not happen in my life time. She said until there is peace on Earth it will forever be a world without end…or something along those lines. It made me feel less stressed and anxious. I was a very anxious child.

Lately, after last summer with the fires that consumed so many towns we all ran for our lives, and now the seemingly endless winter…I’m starting to wonder if we are getting closer to the end. We’ve been having a rise in the American school shootings and seems to be more deaths. Is there just more deaths because there are more people? Or is there something bigger going on?

I ran across a conspiracy about the Malaysian flight that went missing and the aliens (I like to think of them as the lizard people because of something my Sister-In-Law said her friend talked about), how I heard something about a prediction of Trump being the last president and of Stephen Hawking saying something about the end. I’m thinking about it more.

Can the world really end?

There’s constantly the end of the world “as we know it” because things are always changing. Sometimes to the point where we’re wondering how the heck we’re still surviving (TidePod challenge anyone?)

But can it really END end? I guess, at some point, the world ends for each of us as we journey on to whatever is next…but will there ever be a time where it ends so completely that it doesn’t keep going when we’re gone?

Tax Time!

It’s that time again, everyone is moaning and groaning. Scrambling to make sure everything is in order, all the receipts are together and all the employer papers have been received.

I got mine done, but this year it seems as though it was more complicated! I moved, and I claimed it for Work. I didn’t think about it when I was moving, of course, because who thinks of taxes in August? So, needless to say… but I’ll say it anyways, I forgot to keep the receipts. I had to go back to August on my Visa to get the total of the U-Haul bill, and then I had to call the hotel I stayed in on the way to get a receipt for that, and then I had to fill out this tax form to calculate the gas and food part. That was interesting because I have never done that before.

The good thing about it is that I am probably getting back at least half of what I paid for the U-Haul…so I will put some of that towards my Visa and then it will be paid off.

Otherwise, I personally find taxes to be pretty straight forward, and I feel proud of myself that I am able to do it myself and I don’t have to pay someone else. Add it to the list of my skills!

Rut

I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. Again.

This winter is a hard one.

I want to write but I don’t know what to say. I want to go out but I don’t know where to go.

Things are different now than they were a year ago, in so many ways. So I don’t know why I have this feeling.

I just got over a flu, but I still feel worn down.

Maybe I need more exercise, three walks a day with Bronn isn’t enough.

I feel sad and kind of angry.

I don’t know why.

Procrastination?

I have this weird thing. It’s maybe a type or procrastination, I’m not really sure. I never seem to want to do anything. I mean, I do. When the idea comes up, I want to do it…but then when the action is coming I don’t want to do it anymore. I still usually do, but for like half an hour before I’m thinking “ugh, why?”

Maybe it’s part of anxiety? Or it could be procrastination…although I don’t really put the action off. If it’s something like groceries, I might put it off for an hour or so but it still gets done.

Whatever it is, it reminds me of when people book a dentist appointment, and they don’t want to go but they have to.

Maybe it’s just a phase I’m going through or something, but I feel like that all the time. I don’t cancel on plans or anything because of it though, because I know when I go do the things it’s always good. It’s just this weird annoying negativity that passes through my brain when I have to do something.

I’m also indecisive a lot…maybe it’s part of that. It’s confusing!!

Alone

As a single woman, I often have alone time. I enjoy it, even though it’s nice to socialize and be around people too. We are social creatures.

I’m not sure that I do any weird things when I am alone. I sing in the car and sometimes at home when there’s no one around and the music is good. Lately I think I might even sing when people are around and I don’t notice…depends on how loud the music is or of the other person is just in another room.

I might pick my nose sometimes. Kind of gross, but sometimes there a darn booger that needs to come out and it just won’t do it by blowing! Even by blowing one nostril at a time like you’re supposed to.

Sometimes, actually often, after work when Bronn and I are done our walk I will sit in silence for a while. I’m looking at my phone or reading my mail or whatever but I don’t turn on the TV or music until after a while. Probably because I’ve been talking to people all day and there is noise and stuff. It’s nice to take some really quiet time once in a while.

Otherwise I don’t think that I do anything else weird. If I do, I don’t realize it and no one can point it out because I’m alone, and Bronn doesn’t say much!

Playlist on Random

I love all kinds of music!! Today all day I’ve been listening to music.

First random track – Crashing Down by Mat Kearney

I won this big ass MP3 player from Molson Canadian Rocks, back when MP3 players were a new thing. It’s big, like the size of a Walkman. When I’m using it people ask me what the heck it is. It’s awesome, that’s what it is!! It has 3359 tracks on it!! Sadly I can’t add more because there is no updated driver for it and it hasn’t worked on Windows 10…it last worked on Windows 7. Alas, now it only plays oldies, but goodies!!

Second random track – Talk Show Host by Radiohead

Romeo and Juliet, the one with Leo and Claire. Remember that movie? It came out in the 90’s when we were in high school, and super romantic. We were older than Romeo and Juliet were actually supposed to be. Now I wonder, since I’ve grown up and been burned, how can you know you’re in love when you’re that young? That was a different time though, now a days it seems like love is a choice that you have to make every day. So many people get lost and give up. Easily find someone else at the other end of their text. It was probably always hard, we’ve just become lazy.

Third random track – Rocket Man by Elton John

I wonder what made him write this song? Or, did he actually write it? I should look that up! Maybe someone wrote it, an actual astronaut, and decided he should sing it. When you hear the story telling singers, do you wonder where the song came from, or do you just listen and like it? This is a good song, for sure. “And all the science I don’t understand, it’s just my job five days a week.” Don’t most astronauts do the science too? Are there guys that just do the space part and nothing else?

Fourth random track – It’s a Wonderful Life (Gonna Have A Good Time) by Fishbone

I don’t even know. There’s so many songs on here and I’m not sure where some of them came from. Have you ever heard this one? It’s interesting. Has a good message, but who is Fishbone? What genre is this, ska? Hmmmmm….

Fifth random track – Wannabe by Spice Girls

There’s going to be a reunion tour?!?! I remember when this song came out. Seems like a billion years ago, or like 20 or something. Back then we couldn’t even imagine ourselves in 20 years. We just wanted to zigazig-ah, and we didn’t even know what that was!! This song really does get you wanting to move though, I heard it on the radio when I was driving home the other day and it totally lifted my grumpy mood!

Sixth random track – The Next Episode by Dr Dre

Rap has changed. This is a classic!! I can picture Snoop Dogg just a swinging his hair. Da da da da da. This song makes me want to dance around too. Where is Dr Dre now? Is he just producing? Will there be another episode? Snoop Dogg is doing different things now, like cooking with Martha Stewart. Times have changed!

Seventh random track – Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie

Is she a zombie? I love zombies!! Not that I would ever want to meet one, unless it was like in Warm Bodies, those were good zombies. I love that genre though, Walking Dead, iZombie, that kind of thing. There’s even that one where someone was but by a mosquito and turned into a zombie. Oooo, and the one where the guy is in high school and he dies and comes back as a zombie and he’s falling apart and stuff. Classic!

Eighth random track – Fur Elise by Beethoven

This is one of the tracks that came with the MP3 player. It’s a nice random change of pace. It’s an actual classic too. It would be cool to live in the days when someone was just playing classical music in the corner, someone was doing a cross stitch, someone was reading, the dogs are laying by the fire and everyone is sipping on tea or brandy, deep in thought. Sounds pleasant, doesn’t it? Now we’re all sitting on our phones talking to someone else!

Ninth random track – Sorry, Sorry by Rooney

This song reminds me of college days, and also The O.C. because that’s where it was discovered. It’s kind of a story song too, just the way the guy is singing. It’s very catchy. If you’re still reading this, and you haven’t heard this song, you should listen to it! Recommendation straight from one of Ashley’s Random Ramblings!! I hope you’re enjoying this post and maybe opening up you musical mind! Get out of that every day genre, listen to something new. You might like it!

Tenth (and last) random track – Suds in the Bucket by Sara Evans

This is one of my favourite country songs! It’s easy to sing to, upbeat, relatable… okay, maybe not the last one. Are there any love stories like that? How many people are with their high school sweetheart? From a small town, where everyone knows everything about anything? I like the idea of it, I like the picture it puts in my head. We don’t even wash clothes that way anymore… sometimes people use a clothes line but no one in the first world uses a bucket anymore, we’re blessed to have washing machines. A girl can daydream about such a romance though, right?

That’s some random music for you, with some thoughts to boot! Good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!!