On Alert, Not Order

It's been 17 days since we packed up what we thought was important and left our house for the city because of the wildfires surrounding our town. We were there for 5 nights before the whole town was ordered to evacuate. My Dad drove up here with us pulling the 5th Wheel and then went back the next morning because he was deemed an essential service. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and stress. Trying to work in different surroundings and not sleeping in my own bed. I'm exhausted.

Finally today the big guys decided to tone down the order to an alert. I've been trying to stay away from the Facebook chat groups because there is so much back and forth, and lots of rumours. It got tiring! It still sounds like things are touch and go, and even though we can go home, they want us to take our time coming back, plus we need to still be ready to leave again at a moments notice. It's still scary!!

What worried me today was that one of the girls was told when she went through a road block that she shouldn't leave her pet at home for any length of time because if we get told to leave we won't be able to go home to get them! That's terrifying!! I want to go home, but I don't. It's confusing!!

I have to say, though, that I am ready to move on with my life. I became a Jamberry (nail wrap, nail care) consultant so I'd like to do something with that business. I'm also ready to make my move to a new place, and the plans are in the works, they just need to be set in motion, and that can't be done from here!! So here's to hoping we can go home and be safe for a few weeks so I can get on with my life!!



Trying to hold on to some little piece of normal by going to work, however, nothing about this is normal! We've officially been out of our home for 14 days, with no definite return date in sight. Today I am feeling grumpy, tired and my body is aching for some reason. I've been sleeping in a bedroom on a mattress on the floor, but I am thankful to not be one of the people sleeping on a cot in the gym of the evacuation centre, or in a tent in a parking lot.

Our managers want us to be doing some sort of work, so I have been sitting at an information table at the evacuation centre for a 9-1 shift. I could sit here all day, but there isn't much to do. I also don't feel comfortable going into another office. I know it is a bit rough for them to be switching people's floats and everything. I just really want to go home!

On Friday I registered us with Red Cross. I'm not exactly sure what will happen with that. People have been getting $600 for relief funds. I'm not sure how long that will take or if I even did it right. I guess we will see what happens. I may have just registered us for information for future events.

I am bored. I am tired. I want to go home!

Just Thoughts

I want to keep writing. It's hard though because where I'm at we have no wifi and that makes it hard to use the blog site. Also, to write in my journal it's hard!! I've been working on keeping my journal to positive things (I hate when I write in it drunk!! It's never negative but it makes no sense) so I don't want to be weepy and emotional in my journal. So here I am with thoughts about what to do and such.

I'm kind of confused at this time as to who my real friends are. I know who my best friend is, and have been in great contact with my co-workers, and I have several friends and family who have checked on me in one way or another. However, there are one or two where I'm like…hmmm…so I need to definitely do a Facebook cleanse when I move on to my next step.

I wish I could have written down my dream last night!! I know it was complicated, intricate and very interesting!! It was like one of those fantasy movies set in the old times. I know it has to do with the fires going on around us and my book, and I'm sure it was set on Williams Lake. A lot of my dreams are set in this town that is half Williams Lake, BC and half Coleman, AB. Strange hey? Also do you ever have those ones where the house you're in is part of a few of the different houses you've ever lived in? That's so weird!!

I lost my train of thought, but isn't that fun? It's like when you get a letter from someone. Or even if you're in conversations with a few people because the topic just keeps changing. I wouldn't want to read a book like that though.

Okay, those are some of my thoughts, and I could probably just keep doing random thoughts, but I'm not on wifi and I just wanted to do a post. This is #70 on this blog I think!! Thanks for reading!! "You is smart, you is kind, you is important" (the Help) and also, I love you!!!

You Don’t Have to Live Like a Refugee

Last night the town where I live was offically put under evacuation order. Mom, Grandma and I have been staying with John, a long time friend of my parents, since Tuesday. We had decided to leave early because we were unable to work in Williams Lake. Mom started working here in Prince George. It was stressful.

However, I can’t imagine what it was like to be in the rush of the evacuation last night. I’m glad we left when we did!! From the photos I’ve seen through friends who left last night there was bumper to bumper traffic for hours. It took people 7 to 9 hours to do a 3 hour drive. Isn’t that unreal?

There are evacuation centres all over the province in the bigger centres. Today Mom and I went to register. It seems silly but we felt guilty using the aid when we didn’t need it yet and we were just on alert. It was interesting. The people there are well trained and quite organized. The wait wasn’t as long as people have been waiting, and there were people we knew that we chatted with while we were waiting. A ton of paperwork was filled out. We ended up getting grocery vouchers, a voucher for our billet to fill out and get some assistance for expenses, like ta of information and some red bands.

The red bands give us some access to things like the pools, discounts at some stores, and if you think about it, it makes us know who is here and reminds us we are in this together. BC Strong is the new motto.

We managed to stock up on groceries, and since we got some gift cards for the difference, we decided we’re going to save them all and give them to the food bank when this is all over. 

It’s amazing seeing how many people stepped up to help, how many RCMP and Fire Fighters there are from all over the place, how the communities have opened their arms for us, and the amount of donations spreading across the province. It’s pretty awesome!

The dogs are all finally starting to get used to each other, and there is less barking. Still a bitch fest once in a while, but that’s how dogs can get sometimes! They all want the attention!!

This is still a very surreal event for us though. You just never know what one day you will have to prepare for. Stay on the alert and keep living!

Wildfires and Panic

Here we are in the middle of beautiful, mountainous, British Columbia in the third season. They say now a days we have winter, construction and fire season. It’s pretty bad this year. There are about 138 fires happening in the province, and we are surrounded. Lucky for us we are in the centre of Williams Lake, which is in kind of a valley, so it would take a lot to actually affect the city.

It is extremely smokey so we’ve been sitting inside. This is so not what I wanted to be doing this weekend! We had plans to go camping, sitting by the lake with no cell service and possibly roasting hot dogs over a campfire and making s’mores for dessert. We’ve now got a fire ban on, and that Lake we had planned to go to has been evacuated.

Yesterday, just at the end of the work day, panic ensued. Two of my coworkers had to take off in a rush, one not even able to do her end of day cash out, because their homes were at risk. We’ve been keeping in contact with each other, and everyone is safe. Their animals are safe. They’ve got places to go. We might even all be back at work on Monday. We will find out tomorrow.

We currently have no cable, the internet is sporadic, and Facebook is full of rumours! I had to unfriend someone today. She made a comment that said basically that shit hit the fan, and she was mad at me for being upset at how vague her comment was! There are people who have been packing and there has been panic at the gas stations. We have a couple of gas stations that are out of gas. I think this is silly, because you should always keep your tank full! I rarely go below half a tank.

We packed up all our important documents into the fireproof safe, as well as all our USB’s and some backup discs…even though the laptop would come with us if we had to leave. For us in town the only threat is the thick smoke right now. We’ve got itchy eyes, sore throats, and have been sneezing,  but we will persevere! The dogs are staying inside as much as they can as well, and their fur is absorbing the smell.

I know things are worse for some of the people surrounding us, and our friends and some family have been displaced for a while, but I think so far we will all be okay. It is definitely scary and sad, but our trees have been sick and dying for a long time and nature will be sorting itself out for years! We will have new growth, and that is never a bad thing. 

This too will pass.

Hard to Handle

I’ve been struggling lately, trying to make a big change in my life. It’s a very hard decision, and I know it needs to be done. The only thing is when and how to do it. I want to make sure that I have the money to stustain myself on a big move, and that I don’t get myself into a financial rut. I’ve been looking for a job where I want to move.

The thing is, I feel so stuck where I am. I’ve been here for a long time, had lots of ups and downs, met people and lost people and yes I have a good job, but it doesn’t make me happy. It’s a good job in wages, and I love the job itself, but…I don’t know, maybe I’m just really tired of the town I’m in.

I don’t have a huge social life. I have friends who invite me to do things now and then, but everyone is so busy. It wouldn’t be as bad if I was in a relationship or had children of my own, but it’s just me and Bronn. We find things to do, but it’s hard.

It was awesome when I went to Europe. It opened up a huge window for me, where I learned I am capable of doing anything really. I mean I travelled across the world by myself! That’s pretty huge! But then I had to come back here and everything is the same. I’ve tried to make some adjustments….like signing Bronn up for agility classes to get us out of the house and even online dating. It’s nice to be chatting but there’s no one on there that’s exciting to me. I went on one date and it was nice but it didn’t go anywhere. 

I feel myself getting depressed. What a dumb time of the year to become depressed!! I’ve been drinking more alcohol than usual and I am now certain, after doing a bit of research, that this is what is causing me to feel depressed again. I need to stop drinking alcohol, for real, so I can pull myself up out of the rut and move on! I just need help and support.