Hard to Handle

I’ve been struggling lately, trying to make a big change in my life. It’s a very hard decision, and I know it needs to be done. The only thing is when and how to do it. I want to make sure that I have the money to stustain myself on a big move, and that I don’t get myself into a financial rut. I’ve been looking for a job where I want to move.

The thing is, I feel so stuck where I am. I’ve been here for a long time, had lots of ups and downs, met people and lost people and yes I have a good job, but it doesn’t make me happy. It’s a good job in wages, and I love the job itself, but…I don’t know, maybe I’m just really tired of the town I’m in.

I don’t have a huge social life. I have friends who invite me to do things now and then, but everyone is so busy. It wouldn’t be as bad if I was in a relationship or had children of my own, but it’s just me and Bronn. We find things to do, but it’s hard.

It was awesome when I went to Europe. It opened up a huge window for me, where I learned I am capable of doing anything really. I mean I travelled across the world by myself! That’s pretty huge! But then I had to come back here and everything is the same. I’ve tried to make some adjustments….like signing Bronn up for agility classes to get us out of the house and even online dating. It’s nice to be chatting but there’s no one on there that’s exciting to me. I went on one date and it was nice but it didn’t go anywhere. 

I feel myself getting depressed. What a dumb time of the year to become depressed!! I’ve been drinking more alcohol than usual and I am now certain, after doing a bit of research, that this is what is causing me to feel depressed again. I need to stop drinking alcohol, for real, so I can pull myself up out of the rut and move on! I just need help and support.


One thought on “Hard to Handle

  1. If you have time off, you are welcome to crash on our couch in Victoria. I love it here so much that I just want everyone to move here. Just hope there are no big earthquakes or tsunamis in future.

    Liked by 1 person

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