Off Schedule: Bronn’s Wednesday

Mama-Human came home late today because she got groceries. I was very excited to see her, and to poke my nose in all the bags, but I just really had to pee. Thank goodness for the garbage bin, I didn’t have to search too hard to find a good spot to mark. It’s our garbage bin. In the morning, I’ll help Mama-Human bring it to the curb for that loud truck to get. Maybe I’ll bark at it.

It turned out, after poking through the bags, there was a new squeak toy for me under some new towels I’ll lay on later. The first order of business was to get the “duck” like squeak out of it. I can’t believe they think it sounds like a real duck! Also, why does a hedgehog also sound “duck” like? When Mama-Human is at work, I might have to go on the internet to find out what hedgehogs really sound like. I’m very suspicious.

I carefully made an incision with my teeth down one side of the hedgehog and removed some stuffing on the couch, then took out the squeaking contraption. All of a sudden I smelled something delicious from the kitchen so I dropped my new toy in the hallway and went to check it out. Mama-Human had something in a brown paper bag that she was going to eat, and the Human-Who-Lives-Upstairs (Mama-Human calls her Ni-kohl) was making some kind of squash and she took it out to check. I like squash. One time I tasted the different kinds in Grandpa-Human’s garden, his eyebrows pointed down at me so I don’t think he liked that. The next thing I knew there was a fence around the squashes.

Mama-Human let me have a French fry. I didn’t get a whole lot of droppings, and I was hungry so I ate my dinner. Then downstairs cat-loving Human (Kae-tee) came upstairs with her man-Human. He gave me some pets. I put my bum against his leg to let him know I was enjoying it. Who doesn’t love a head and ear massage?

I then supervised Mama-Human as she packed a bag of food that she will take with her tomorrow when she leaves the house for “work”. There were no droppings but I checked to make sure I didn’t miss anything around the floor area.

Now I’m just chewing on my new toy, getting my teeth clean and relaxing. When Mama-Human is done her hot drink she’ll take me for a walk. We didn’t go for one when she got home because there was a lot going on. I’m excited to sniff around and find out what all the other dogs in the neighbourhood did today!

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The Pap

It’s a dreaded appointment for most women, the Pap smear. Thankfully it doesn’t come every year for most women, but at the same time that kind of makes it more nerve wracking because it’s been so long. Like getting a needle for some people, it’s just ugh!!

I had a regular doctor for the longest time, and so these appointments weren’t as dreaded because I know how quick it goes by and she was a very calming lady. I moved at the wrong time. It’s a three year appointment for me now, and it just came up on three years. I had to go to a new doctor, a woman thankfully.

It’s so awkward, getting under a paper blanket. Especially since they are folded so neatly and it’s hard to get it open without worrying about tearing it and ending up with a mud flap sized piece to cover up with! Not to mention the fear of paper cuts! Just kidding, it’s not that kind of paper.

So there you are sitting in a room behind a curtain under a paper blanket and someone you never met comes in. Thankfully, today the doctor was super nice. She addressed some other issues I had first, like my sore throat and ears. She looked in those and discovered that I am probably not used to the dry climate and prescribed more hot drinks (like tea) and a humidifier for my bedroom. I wonder if my insurance will pay for that. Hmmmm…

Then it was back to business, ugh!! I am glad they changed the speculum to a plastic disposable thing. No more cold metal. If you google the speculum, you will find some very scary looking devices that they used to use until it was designed better. Probably not a good idea.

Then, all of a sudden you’re there and uncomfortable down there (I always feel like I have to pee, I don’t know if that’s normal, nerves, or what) and some lady is talking about where it’s good to buy a house in the city and what park you should take your dog to…and it’s taking forever!!

I really miss my old doctor! She made small talk too but she did it all super quickly! Although I have to say, the first time I ever went the doctor left the speculum and went to do something and came back, so it’s never been awkward like that!

Anyways, felt like I should write about something really awkward, because I’m trying to write more! Hope everyone will still keep reading and not be cringing too much. Next up…mammogram… just kidding!!

Lazy Boy Chair

I’m writing this while sitting in a comfortable Lazy Boy chair at work. I’m on my break, of course. We don’t just sit around on our cell phones in lounge chairs all day here. We’ve got things to do.

It’s beautiful outside and they are finally starting work on the new playground for the daycare centre here at the college. They planned to start over a month ago, but it just kept snowing. All I can hear is the humming of some machine outside, some distant chatter in the hallway and the crunching of another staff member at the table behind me.

It’s Monday, and I feel blue. I had a great weekend, watched some good movies, got some exercise with my dog and even went for a massage. It was busy, but also restful. I don’t know why I feel so blue today. All my clothes are blue, maybe that’s why. Next Monday I will wear something more colourful, maybe that will help.

I would have gone to sit outside, but it wanted to lounge about. I’m tired! It’s warm out, but I’m not sure it’s warm enough for me to feel comfortable. The breezes make me cold, and this is a breezy place!

I don’t know what to write about. I’m stuck. I know I need to write more, or I’ll never write a novel!! Maybe I don’t really want it that bad. I just feel stuck, and sad.

Hmmmm…

Sign of the Times

When I was little I was always afraid of “the end of the world” and my Mom always assured me that it would not happen in my life time. She said until there is peace on Earth it will forever be a world without end…or something along those lines. It made me feel less stressed and anxious. I was a very anxious child.

Lately, after last summer with the fires that consumed so many towns we all ran for our lives, and now the seemingly endless winter…I’m starting to wonder if we are getting closer to the end. We’ve been having a rise in the American school shootings and seems to be more deaths. Is there just more deaths because there are more people? Or is there something bigger going on?

I ran across a conspiracy about the Malaysian flight that went missing and the aliens (I like to think of them as the lizard people because of something my Sister-In-Law said her friend talked about), how I heard something about a prediction of Trump being the last president and of Stephen Hawking saying something about the end. I’m thinking about it more.

Can the world really end?

There’s constantly the end of the world “as we know it” because things are always changing. Sometimes to the point where we’re wondering how the heck we’re still surviving (TidePod challenge anyone?)

But can it really END end? I guess, at some point, the world ends for each of us as we journey on to whatever is next…but will there ever be a time where it ends so completely that it doesn’t keep going when we’re gone?