For some reason I thought things would be different. A lot has happened in the past year, and I finally made a choice to move from the town I had been living in for the past 14, or so, years. I thought things would be different here.
They are, I have friends here and some family. I thought we would see each other more than we do, but it has been a hard winter! I live on the West side of town with means crossing a bridge that has yucky traffic. Often it can be icy too, in fact when it snows they change the speed limit from 90 to 60. I like this side of town, it’s quiet and pretty, but man it sucks to cross that bridge sometimes!! I always have to go home after work to take my dog for a walk, so I don’t often feel like venturing out across that bridge again after a long day of work! Therefore, I don’t get out much during the week.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I am stuck in a rut. Maybe it’s just the winter blues. My immune system has been fighting a lot of battles with colds and stomach bugs (mostly winning, I’ve been really sick only once in 2018 and that was right at the beginning of the year) so I’m tired!
I definitely like my new job, because I don’t find it as hard to get motivated to go to work in the mornings. With my last job I felt empty, trying to force myself to be happy to go there. It was terrible! I think it was because I worked so hard and wasn’t rewarded in the slightest, by better opportunities that I was working towards. It was terrible!! I don’t feel that where I am now, although I’m still not sure I want to do the forever.
I’m tired of being single, but I don’t know how to date anymore. I’ve tried the online thing, several times, and I just get so annoyed by every guy I talk to. They can’t spell, or they talk about dumb things, or I can’t get a feel from them by their picture. I don’t mean for that to be shallow either, sometimes a guy’s picture can be super good-looking but it feels like you’re talking to a dunce! I try not to judge by a picture, but then it’s also suspicious feeling if they only have one unclear photo. I’d rather meet someone in person, but I’m so out of touch I’m not sure how to do it anymore!! Or where to go!! All my friends are married or in long term relationships and no one seems to know anyone my age who is single! What happened to the days of being set up?!
I also can’t decide if I should buy a house. There are pros and cons for buying or continuing to rent, as there always is. It’s good to become a property owner and have your money put into something you can see, it would be nice to have space that is completely my own that I can do anything with, Bronn would have more space and maybe a yard. However, it’s a huge commitment. It’s kind of scary to live alone and be wholly responsible for anything that breaks and all the yard work. It’s a lot of money (but rent can be a lot too). The market is always changing. I’m so up and down about it I don’t know what to do. I could use my money to travel while I’m single and see the world…but don’t get me started on trying to decide where to go and when!!
Maybe it is just a case of the winter blues, or I didn’t sleep well last night and I’m crabby. There is a lot weighing on my mind today and I’m not enjoying it! If anyone out there has advice to weigh in on any of these things, by all means, share it!!! Give me a different perspective!!